Unrealistic Expectations in Relationships

Having Unrealistic Expectations

A great many people are disappointed because of unrealistic expectations from others or you have expectations placed on others to bring you happiness!  What I mean is having emotional expectations.

Unrealistic Expectations in Marriage

If you are married, yes, there is expectations on your spouse.  What I’m talking about is expecting someone to meet that emotional expectation such as fulfilling you (lonliness, feeling loved, excepted, whole, happy).

Unrealistic Expectations in Relationships


Do you have expectations on others or does someone have expectations on you that you cannot fill? How does it feel when you know someone has expectations on you? Other way around, have you thought about the torment you have when you put expectations on others to make you complete?  Do you have unrealistic expectations on men, or men who have women unrealistic expectations.


You can also have unrealistic expectations on work or your career to meet a need of importance or acceptance.  The spiritual behind this is a spirit of fear and you will drive yourself to perfection to have that need met.


If you want to be successful, you have to take 100% responsibility for everything that you experience in your life. You are responsible for your own life – not others. You don’t live for others’ expectations; but in your own expectations. To be successful, you need to take the position that you either create or allow everything that happens to you.


Did you grow up with a parent who was unhappy and you felt responsible for their happiness? Did they put guilt on you when they were not happy? Could this be false burden bearing, false responsibility? Do you feel rejected if this other person is not happy like you did something wrong?


Codependency and Relationships


Are you in an addictive love Relationship? Unhealthy Love Relationships  is another way of saying Co-Dependency on another person to meet your emotional need.


Addictive Love is An Intense or Exaggerated Reaction (to) Involvement (with) Expectations (of) Another That Results in Inadequate Attention Concern Care for Yourself.


Addictive Relationship (definition) The relationship addict feels a sense of incompleteness, emptiness, despair and sadness that he or she seeks to remedy by connecting with another. The relationship is viewed as a means of meeting one’s needs for love, attention, and security rather than as a shared experience.


If you are, do you see your addictive love relationship becomes an arena for trying to resolve unfinished business from the past? Are you continuing to get hurt in this relationship?


Addictive relationships are characterized by a simultaneous excess and lack of love; an over abundance of love to obsessive attention is bestowed upon someone else while an inadequate amount is given to self.


Relationship Addictive Responses Overreacting Checklist:

  • Experience intense feelings of needing the other person.
  • Experience intense feelings of needing the relationship.
  • Experience intense feelings of infatuation.
  • Experience feelings of jealousy and possessiveness.
  • Are self-sacrificing and self-depriving.
  • Express affection prematurely.
  • Disclose your feelings prematurely.
  • Blame yourself when conflict occurs.
  • Are unable to endure separation.
  • Choosing to Change:
  • Ask yourself if you have a trust issue with God. If yes, then ask the Lord to help you to trust him.
  • Ask yourself if you have a fear of being alone. If so, deal with the issue of fear of loneliness.
  • Ask yourself if you are trying to get this person to love you who is not able to love you like a parent who never was able to show love
  • Ask yourself
  • Ask yourself if your identity is based on this person’s approval.

Steps to Change:

Step 1: Determine why you are choosing to change and if you need ministry of deliverance, set up an appointment


Step 2: Decide what you would like to change. Pay attention to your thoughts.


Step 3: Start some aspect of the change process now. When you start to feel fearful, take responsibility and cast out the spirit operating such as fear of being alone, fear of independence, spirit of co-dependency, envy and jealousy if you see them with another friend


Step 4: Evaluate your progress and reward yourself for taking steps toward change.


Step 5: Start getting involved in other circles of friends, church, etc.


Step 6: Start seeing who you are and that you are accepted by the Lord.


Step 7: Start loving yourself. Start loving the spirit man in you.


By Traci Morin
Touch of God Healing Ministries (a healing and deliverance ministry located in Dallas, Texas – why don’t you join us at Set Free Bible Study to start your journey of healing?)

More Articles on Sanctification:

Fourth Man in the Fire a Story about Daniel
Fruit of the Spirit
Like Minded People
The Power to Overcome Your Past
Spiritual Discernment

Power of Your Words
What is Sanctification?
What is on your mind?

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